I am not afraid to tell you, “I love you.” Your mind may say, “How can you love me when you don’t even know me?” I don’t need to know you. I don’t need to justify my love. I love you because this is my pleasure. Love coming out of me makes me happy, and it’s not important if you reject me because I don’t reject myself. In my story, I live in an ongoing romance, and everything is beautiful for me. To live in love is to be alive again. When you recover your integrity, you always follow love. You live your life as an eternal romance because when you love yourself, it is easy to love everyone else. You love so much that you don’t need anyone else’s love to make you happy.Don Miguel Ruiz
Happy in a Relationship
“If you are happy and a relationship happens, you feel good, you share, but you are not dependent on it. You don’t become a slave, you don’t become addicted to it, because you can be happy without it.
A good relationship is a sharing; there is no dependence. Both partners remain totally free and independent. Nobody possesses – there is no need. It is a free gift… I have so much, so I give it to you. There is no need – I can be alone and perfectly happy.
When two persons are in love and both can be alone and happy, then tremendously beautiful love happens, because they are not hindering each other in any way in their growth. They remain completely free.”
Excerpt from the Osho book ‘Be Realistic Plan for a Miracle’
My Favourite from Don Miguel Ruiz
Your mind may say, “How can you love me when you don’t even know me?”
I don’t need to know you.
I don’t need to justify my Love.
I love you because this is my Pleasure.
Love coming out of me makes me happy, and it’s not important if you reject me because I don’t reject myself.
In my story, I live in an ongoing romance, and everything is beautiful for me.
To live in love is to be alive again.
When you recover your integrity, you always follow love.
You live your life as an eternal romance because when you love yourself, it is easy to love everyone else.
You love so much that you don’t need anyone else’s love to make you happy.
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those persons who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.
They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
Then why do they want to be together? It is no longer a need; it is a luxury. Try to understand it. Real persons love each other as a luxury; it is not a need. They enjoy sharing: they have so much joy; they would like to pour it into somebody. And they know how to play their life as a solo instrument. The solo flute player knows how to enjoy his flute alone. And if he comes and finds a tabla player or a solo tabla player, they will enjoy being together and creating a harmony between the flute and the tabla. Both will enjoy it. They will both pour their richness into each other.
Real Love by Osho
When two persons are really in love, they help each other to grow. They look into each other; they become mirrors to each other: they reflect each other. They help each other; they hold each other. In good times, in bad times, in moments of happiness, in moments of sadness they are together, they are involved – that’s what involvement is all about.
If I am only with you when you are happy and I am not with you when you are unhappy this is not involvement, this is exploitation. If I am only with you when you are flowing, and I am not with you when you are not flowing – then I am not with you at all. Then I don’t love you, I love only myself and I love only my pleasure. “When you are pleasurable, good; when you become painful I will throw you away.” This is not love, this is not involvement, this is not commitment. This is not respect for the other person.
It is easy to love somebody else’s wife because he has to suffer the reality and you enjoy the fiction.
It is a very good division of labour. But this is inhuman. Human love is a great encounter. And love is only if growth happens out of it, otherwise what type of love is it?
Lovers are enhanced by each other – in every way. Lovers reach to higher peaks of happiness when they are together, and they also reach to the deeper depths of sadness when they are together. Their range of happiness and sadness becomes vast – that’s what love is. Alone, if you cry and weep, your tears don’t have much depth. Have you watched it? Alone, they are shallow. When you weep together with somebody then there is a depth, a new dimension to your tears. Alone you can laugh, but your laughter will be shallow. In fact it will be something insane – only mad people laugh alone.
When you laugh with somebody there is a depth in it, there is sanity in it. Alone, you can laugh, but the laughter will not go very deep, cannot go. Together, it goes to the very core of your being.
How to Love a Woman
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.
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