Learn Her by Cody Bret

“Take some time and learn what words, acts, expressions, gifts, and physical touches are the most meaningful and desired by your partner.

In other words, show your appreciation and love to your partner in the ways that mean the most to them. 

When you are in her presence, your little acts of kindness become extremely important.

For example, don’t give her flowers on Valentine’s Day because that is what you’re “supposed” to do … Give her flowers on a Wednesday because you thought of her on your way home from work.

Grab some blankets and pillows from the house and take her out on a hillside and watch the stars with her in the back of a pick up truck with the two of you looking into each others eyes and having in depth conversations under the moonlight. 

Or get up at 8am and meet her at a local diner on a Saturday morning and talk about her life goals over some homemade pancakes.

Little things like this will always help your partner feel known, valued, and loved.

Take my advice and take care of her, because life doesn’t bless you with a good woman twice.”

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Sex Power by Osho

The following passage is from spiritual teacher Osho a.k.a. Rajneesh:

The sex inside man, his/her libido, is even more vital than electricity. A minute atom of matter annihilated an entire hundred thousand people in the city of Hiroshima, but an atom of man’s energy can create a new life, a new person! Sex is more powerful than an atom bomb. Have you ever thought about the infinite possibilities of this force, about how we can transform it to better mankind?

An embryo can become a Gandhi, a Mahavir, a Buddha, a Christ. An Einstein can evolve from it; a Newton can be manifest in it. An infinitely small atom of sex energy has a towering person like Gandhi manifest in it! But we are not inclined to even try to understand sex. We have to summon immense courage even to talk about it in public. What kind of fear is it that plagues us, so that we are not prepared to understand the force out of which the whole world is born?

What is this fear? Why does sex alarm us so? People were shocked when I spoke about sex at the first meeting last month, in Bombay. I received many angry letters asking me not to talk in this fashion, letters saying I should not speak on this subject at all. I wonder why one should not discuss this subject? When this urge is already inherent in us, why should we not talk about it? Unless we can understand its behavior, can analyze it, how can we hope to raise it to a higher plane? By understanding it we can transform it, we can conquer it, we can sublimate it.

My point is that those who forbid talk about sex are the same people who have pushed humanity into an abyss of sex. Those who are frightened of sex, and have therefore convinced themselves they are innocent of sex, are lunatics. They have conspired to make the whole world a gigantic asylum.

Yes Please

by Lao Tzu in Hua Hu Ching on Chapter 69

A person’s approach to sexuality is a sign of his level of evolution. Unevolved persons practice ordinary sexual intercourse. Placing all emphasis upon the sexual organs, they neglect the body’s other organs and systems.

Whatever physical energy is accumulated is summarily discharged [through orgasm], and the subtle energies are similarly dissipated and disordered. It is a great backward leap.

For those who aspire to the higher realms of living, there is angelic dual cultivation [transmutation]. Because every portion of the body, mind, and spirit yearns for the integration of yin and yang, angelic intercourse is led by the spirit rather than the sexual organs.

Where ordinary intercourse is effortful, angelic cultivation is calm, relaxed, quiet, and natural. Where ordinary intercourse unites sex organs with sex organs, angelic cultivation unites spirit with spirit, mind with mind, and every cell of one body with every cell of the other body.

Culminating not in dissolution [orgasm] but in integration [sublimation], it is an opportunity for a man and woman to mutually transform and uplift each other into the realm of bliss and wholeness.

The sacred ways of angelic intercourse are taught only by one who has himself achieved total energy integration, and taught only to students who follow the Integral Way with profound devotion, seeking to purify and pacify the entire world along with their own being.

However, if your virtue is especially radiant, it can be possible to open a pathway to the subtle realm and receive these celestial teachings directly from the immortals.

 

Freedom and Flying

by Erin Hanson:

There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask, “What if I fall?”
Oh, but my darling,
What if you fly?

Orgasms

“Many people make love but have no idea of what orgasm is, because they are already dissipated. When they are making love, they are empty; when they are making love there is no energy to be shared. When they are making love, they cannot overflow. Their orgasm is at the most genital. Their orgasm is a very small, mediocre thing; nothing of any spiritual value. It is like a sneeze. Yes, after a sneeze you feel a little better. Or like scratching your back – it feels good. You are relieved.

Orgasm is not a relief: orgasm is a celebration. And orgasm is a meeting of you, through the other, with the whole. Orgasm is always divine – the other becomes the door and you enter into the divine. Orgasm is always spiritual, it is never sexual. Those who think that orgasm is sexual have not understood anything at all; they don’t know anything about sex and they don’t know anything about orgasmic experiences. Orgasm is always samadhi, ecstasy. But people don’t know because they meet out of need, not out of overflowing energies.”

Osho

Love and Ecstasy

by Jeff Brown

Ecstasy and love are not the same thing. We often get them confused. There are some connections that open us so wide that we cannot help but call them love. But they may not be. They may just be a transcend-dance, an invitation to delight, the heart opening that we so desperately needed after years encased in armor. We call certain people into our lives to awaken us, to reheart us, but that doesn’t mean they are the beloved. If a love is real, it is a portal to the everything, excavating light and shadow from their hiding places. The glory and the gory rise in unison, calling us to the sky and the earth in one fell swoop. Love is far more than floating to the heavens on a dreamy magic carpet. Love is sustainable. Love is inclusive. Love has feet that walk it through time.

Tantric

 

You can chat all you want, but nothing aligns her as love’s light more quickly than absolute presence: gazing deeply into her eyes, touching her with fearless confidence and sensitivity, feeling deeply into her heart without pulling back, claiming her by relaxing as the pervading consciousness that already is entering and opening her, now, before any genitals are even involved.

David Deida

Yes and No

A “No” uttered from the deepest conviction
is better than a “Yes” merely uttered to please,
or worse, to avoid trouble.

Gandhi

Boundaries

by Jeff Foster

A true boundary doesn’t trap you inside.
It doesn’t mean you must close your heart.
It’s not a ‘No’ to the other’s existence, but a YES to you.
To your voice. Your delicate heart. Your truth.
Your path, however uncertain you feel.
Your way. Honouring it. What you need, what you feel. What you don’t.
What feels right, and what doesn’t.

It’s not an attack on the other, even if it feels that way to them.
You can’t control their feelings, of course.
But you can honour your own.
(And you can understand their disappointment too).
You can’t change their thoughts. That is certain.
But you can allow your own.

From a place of deep acceptance,
from a total alignment with the way things are,
grounded in love,
rooted in the undulating breath,
you find yourself saying ‘No’.
And the ‘No’ has the power of life in it;
it emanates from a deep YES to existence,
and contains no violence, only truth, dignity.

You have a right to your ‘No’
and a right to your ‘Yes’.

True boundaries do not block love; they protect it,
allow it to flourish, freely,
in the deeper YES of unbounded presence.

Sing Me Home

Soul work is not a high road. It’s a deep fall into an unforgiving darkness that won’t let you go until you find the song that sings you home.

McCall Erickson